IT TOOK ME THESE MANY DAYS TO FIGHT EVERYONE’S OPINION: ‘DON’T GO AGAINST THE MIGHT OF THE MEDIA, ESPECIALLY TIMES OF INDIA’.
IF IT WERE A PRIVATE OPINION I WOULD HAVE LET IT GO. SINCE IT IS PUBLIC – AND MOST OF THE OTHER PUBLICATIONS JUST COPY-PASTE REVIEWS – THE REBUTTAL ALSO NEEDS TO BE PUBLIC.
PEOPLE WHO DON’T WATCH THE MOVIE FORM AN OPINION BASED ON THESE IRRESPONSIBLE ‘REVIEWS’ AND THEY HAVE TO BE COUNTERED.
YOU CAN’T WRITE SOMETHING IN PUBLIC AND EXPECT TO GET AWAY WITH IT.

1. QUESTION 1 – ‘2.5 STARS’ –
WHY THE 2.5 STARS WHEN THE REVIEW IS SO PATHETIC? I WAS TOLD IT IS BECAUSE A HUGE AMOUNT IS PAID FOR MEDIA NET? MAYBE NOT HUGE ENOUGH THIS TIME!?

2. QUESTION 2 – ‘DESI WRITER’S SHOULD WORK HARD ON THEIR SCRIPTS’ –
DID SOMEONE ASK YOU FOR YOUR ADVICE? I DIDN’T!
PLEASE WRITE REVIEWS (TRY TO) AND NOT SERMONS. ‘DESI’.. !!?? ARE YOU STILL WHITE SKINNED OR A REMNANT OF A CONVOLUTED BRITISH COLONIZATION.

3. QUESTION 3 – ‘HOW DID THE FILM GET FUNDING AND BACKING FROM ACTORS’ –
SIMPLE. BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT REVIEWERS!! THEY DON’T SIP ON COFFEES, SMOKE CIGARETTES AND WRITE FANCY WORDS WITHOUT KNOWING THEIR MEANINGS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT GOES INTO MAKING A FILM, ESPECIALLY A DEBUT FILM – THE ROMANTCISM, SLEEPLESS NIGHTS AND DAYS, THE DREAMS, THE MONEY, THE SWEAT AND YEARS OF LABOUR?
(AGAIN, WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH REVIEWING A MOVIE.)

4. QUESTION 4 – ‘PERHAPS GAUHAR KHAN AND RAJEEV KHANDELWAL FANCIED AN EXTENDED STAY IN SWITZERLAND’ –
DID YOU PERSONALLY SPY ON THE ACTORS TO KNOW THAT THEY WANTED AN EXTENDED STAY? I THINK YOU DID. PLEASE ALSO SHOW US THE PROOF M’AM! AND IF AT ALL SOMEONE TAUGHT YOU TO WRITE REVIEWS HOW DOES THIS BECOME A PART OF REVIEWING A MOVIE!?

5. CHALLENGE 1 – ‘YOU WISH I HAD USED SOME LOGIC’ – PROVE ONE LOGICAL FLAW IN THE SCRIPT AND I WILL BELIEVE THAT YOU ACTUALLY SAW THE MOVIE AND WERE NOT TEXTING YOUR UNRESPONSIVE LOVER, SIPPING ON KILLER COLAS AND MUNCHING ON POPCORN!

6. CHALLENGE 2 – ‘CORNY DIALOGUES.. YOU GET THE DRIFT!’ –
NO, I DON’T GET THE DRIFT SWEETHEART. WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE DICTIONARY, EXPLAIN CORNY! AND THAT TOO IN THE CONTEXT OF FEVER.

7. THE BIG CHALLENGE – IF YOU HAVE THE CONVICTION TO BACK YOUR WRITE-UP (AS I HAVE THE CONVICTION TO BACK MY FILM AND MY SCRIPT) ANSWER THE QUESTIONS & CHALLENGES OR ADMIT IN PUBLIC – USING AS MANY FANCY WORDS – THAT YOU HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT FILM MAKING (REVIEWS, I KNOW, YOU DON’T HAVE A CLUE!) !!!