Ek Tha T(edious) I(ntolerable) G(ruesome) E(mbarrassing) and R(eckless)
There are many spy thriller films which have been successful in entertaining the audiences, but Ek Tha tiger proves to be the worst film of all time largely because of a single reason: it doesn't stay true to the genre expected & due to that, it can be said that the promos are deceptive.
First, I thought that it would be an entertaining movie, but it was only after watching the film that I realized that for the very first time, in case of an ACTION movie, I was wrong. The film would have been entertaining if there was something more like action. There is overdose of romantic and dramatic scenes which draws us towards tedium. The songs are good, but Due to their poor placement ,they do not look entertaining at all. Performances have been the worst on the part of each and every actor. The action scenes are just OK, but that is not enough. Something is missing. The film wasn't supposed to be a romantic drama but an action thriller.
On the whole, Ek Tha tiger fails as a film.It is a big, big, big disappointment. Watch it if you want to be disappointed
The Kat Who Tamed The Tiger
Salman Khan is a phenomenon. I realised that in the theatre. There are imitators (fans) all around. "Kitni sigret peeta hai. Kutte ki tarah haanp raha hai." Ceetees, taalis. This scenario is right out of 70s and 80s, when Rajesh Khanna’s and Amitabh Bachchan’s movies released and fans went berserk. If this is the barometer of Sallu’s popularity, then he has the pulse of nation in his hand. That day is not far, when he’ll be the PRIME MINISTER. (Remember, MGR and NTR were mass-ive CMs.)
ETT rests on four bamboos - Sallu, Kat, Rocket and Ranvir Shorey. By now, you all know the story of the entire movie by heart (and today is only the sixth day). I’m just paying lip service here. Hindustan-Pakistan, RAW-ISI. Tiger-Zoya. Tiger is the epitome of fearless courage, who can mince meat and cut enemies like gajar-kakdi. Zoya is the epitome of femininity. Butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. She is delectable, almost good enough to eat. One wouldn’t associate her being an agent and that too of neighbouring country. But this secret is out soon enough. Between duty and heart, Tiger chooses the latter. Zoya too does the same. And trouble brews with a capital T. Agents from both the countries chase them. But can anyone catch determined hearts? And they lived happily ever after... Aah, end of the story. But my heart craves for more. Even when the movie is over, I’m happy. They both look so good together. Just like made for each other. ETT turns this Kat into a tigress, who’ll herald the 200+ to 300+ crore club. Sallu looks properly besotted by Kat. The Kat has tamed the Tiger. She asks him, "Nahin ab tumhari umar ho gayi hai shaadi ki." I too wish that he finally gets settled. There are no more milestones for him to set or any more records to break. He needs to have his family, his life. And the time for that is now. He should get settled. He looked almost vulnerable, yet invincible. Movies may come and go but a Sallu junior is the most wanted.
Apart from Sallu and Kat, the doggie Rocket stole whatever remained of my heart. In his brief role, he left an indelible impression. I’m looking for a dog like him. Rocket meri pocket mein hona chahiye. (This is my dialogue, just like Sallu’s clappable ones in the movie.) And Ranvir Shorey is on the verge of stardom. His laid-back acting left me gasping. He knew he was acting with Sallu but nowhere he showed, he was awed by Sallu’s presence. He was just himself, a powerhouse of talent. He fits the big screen. There are excellent songs, excellent cinematography, excellent everything else. But for me the movie was paisa vasool when Sallu stopped the train single-handedly!, when he jumped off the buildings, when he somersaulted into the plane, when he made mincemeat of the bad guys and when he drove his power bike. He was in his elements. They don’t make men like him anymore. With God above and his fans below, he doesn’t need anyone else. His devotees are flocking the temple (sorry, theatres) and records are being set.
Ek Salman Khan and that's it.
It is made to extract the money from pure Salman Khan fans. Written with an unconvincing storyline. There is nothing very bad but nothing good also. All in all, it is a polished crap.