For two hours you put up with too shiny, too happy people holding hands and you’re fed up with the hokey counseling sessions. The last half hour actually touches you but it is too little too late.

Mumbai Police officer ACP Yashvardhan (John Abraham) once again kicks, punches and shoots his way to the baddie, his biceps flexed permanently, his dimple flashing rarely. This time the bad guy is killing RAW agents one by one. In this mission, he has to assist a RAW agent (Sonakshi Sinha) who is a stickler about protocols and obeying orders. The film could have done with a dose of humor, but thankfully there’s no romance between the two lead actors to dilute this relentless action-packed bullet

After 8 years the story of a broken band ‘Magik’ comes alive again. Barely. It is so slow you can see where the story if going a mile ahead. Each band member though busy with different things, deal with the death of young lad – who wanted to make music and whom they ignored – differently. This includes the sister of that boy who also makes music. The faraway village where one band member lives is burnt and the band comes together to save the village, and save themselves.

You enjoy the first half which is bubbly and frothy and Anushka Sharma’s fun, feisty character steals your heart. Then the film becomes more of a ‘mushkil’ than a tale of ‘dils’. Suffering from a case of ‘One-sided love’?

Not a shred of originality in this father-daughter copy of ‘Taken’ plus ‘Bajrangi Bhaijaan’, unless you are fascinated by snow, tattoos, and foreign locales where really bad foreign people live. Ajay Devgn, has a huge fan following as an action hero does not disappoint, but the CGI finishing does. And you begin hating Kailash Kher singing annoyingly in the background during emotional scenes and the title song playing ad nauseam during the action scenes.

The story of the Sikh pogrom after the Prime Minister Mrs Indira Gandhi was assassinated (31st October, 1984) has been well documented and accepted as something where no justice can be truly offered. But when a film attempts to dramatise the events in an amateurish way, the heart-wrenching awfulness of those events is lost. The audience feels no empathy in the fake emotions and the graphic blood and gore fails too.

A young man comes to Bombay with dreams and even though he manages to find himself a job, and gets married, he is unhappy. Living in a room with his two brothers and their wives and kids, he is unable to make love to his wife, who ups and leaves him. Is he the ‘fuddu’ people label him o will his parrot fly out of the cage? You come away wanting to shower after watching this… This swamp thing.

Fed of poverty and his inability to provide his girl with nice things, a small time crook plans a heist. And yes, it goes wrong. In fact, everything from the language that is used in the film is wrong. It’s a mystery how the Censor Board allows the word, ‘Kutiya’ (bitch) being used again and again to describe the girlfriend! This film should go wash it’s mouth with soap.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, they say. And when this woman turns out to be Sunny Leone, you wonder who in their right minds and eyes in their head would reject her romantic advances and why. The movie is horrendous but for the honest emoting by the heroine.

A high concept film is a welcome change from the usual loud Bollywood love stories. But when all you see is a Zhang Yimou hangover on screen without the vision or the depth, you realise that it’s just a pretentious film. And the world that the characters in Mirzya occupy are neither ancient nor in the now. It’s a sad debut film of two young people who just go through the motions because everything is pretending to be art.