They should have just compiled the songs, a couple of them hummable, in a CD, instead.

There is much to be liked in the film, and I wish all of it had been as good as the scintillating bits. The trouble is not just with the pace. Some of the lines, terrific as they are, seem to be added in just so that the characters can revel in their own perfect Urdu delivery.

‘Sholay’, re-released in a 3D version, needs to be your go-to movie this weekend, no ifs, no buts. And that’s because, `Bharat desh ke vaasiyon’, ‘Sholay’ is the greatest Hindi ‘masala’ entertainer ever made, 3D, 2D or no D.

I’ve been thinking of one nice thing to say about this film, which I suspect was made because its title can be read as ‘Jo Bhi Karvalo’. Funny much? Sadly, not at all.

‘Dhoom 3’ is too long and too laboured. And a lot of that has to do with Khan : he just doesn’t have the sexy-badness that is required for a part like this. He is in almost every frame, widening his eyes, rolling his neck, and trying for twinkly-wicked, but he comes off trying too hard. Bachchan and Chopra aren’t given anything fresh to do; Kaif is the only one who has a moment or two.

This is not what I expected from a film featuring a very pretty porn star, a buffed-up stud, and a thesp in jazzy threads. It should have been simple, fast in-and-out, grimy fun. What I got was stretched-out lameness, for an hour and a half.

This is yet another in the line of the Quirky Delhi Film, a genre that has long run out of steam. The novelty lasts for a few minutes. After which it’s all downhill. Dimple Kapadia is completely capable of carrying a film on her own. Here, she’s a sad caricature of a loud Dilli aunty, and she’s all wrongly played for the part.

I would recommend ‘Club 60’, because it brings into the frame an age group euphemistically called the ‘silvers’, and by touching a chord with its performances. Farooque Shaikh is as solid as ever. And he is given company by the lovely Sarika, who locks into her role with a terrific wet-eyed moment. She keeps him and the film going.

I was left asking, why was R.. Rajkumar made? It is nothing but blank putrid noise. R.. for Rubbish. Zero star.

…the film piles up every single tiresome cliché from all similar films in the past, while telling us nothing we want to know. Or see.