At just over 100 minutes, Mercury is quite slick, and there aren’t any dull moments until the final act ruins everything and leaves a bad aftertaste. That’s just such a pity.

Walking out of the theatre, you get the distinct sense that the three boys had been cheated out of what was a glorious chance to get their story told on screen and reap the plaudits that they rightly deserved.

Ultimately, the movie stays true to the franchise roots and refuses to make logical sense, but powered by Jason Blum’s genius production and marketing strategies, Lin Shaye’s performance and an execution that isn’t as bad as Friday The 13th The Final Chapter or The Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master or The Return Of Michael Myers, it ensures that you are in for a decently good time at the movies.

Making up for some blatantly juvenile word-based humour is the film’s electric editing. As the spoken words land with a sickening thud, the smooth cuts between characters whose expressions build off each other find those jagged gems of comedy in the murky landscape of this film.

After watching the original Chef, I made it a point to learn the name of the man who was responsible for those stunning dishes. Tasting chef Roy Choi’s food has been a specific goal on my bucket list ever since. Even though this film dropped the names of the chefs who masterminded the dishes in it, I couldn’t care less about remembering their names as I walked out of the cinema.

Each step along the treacherous path needs to be placed with utmost caution because lush landscapes and effable casts are great motivators to make a film but a few steps in the wrong direction leave an explosion of undercooked sub-plots, extended runtimes and unthreatening villains that the movie might not recover from.

Through all these pitfalls, the film works as the perfect cure for a lazy weekend afternoon. A walk to your nearest multiplex with a few people you enjoy watching films with could give you a few laughs and a feeling of your paisa being vasooled. As a work of art, however, this one struggles to get anywhere lower than its dry crust.

Engaging screenplays are hard to come by because an engaging screenplay needs a compelling conflict. While Ali’s previous works Highway, Rockstar, Jab We Met, Tamasha etc. while imperfect had conflicts, and dramatic and thematic elements that wove their characters together, Jab Harry Met Sejal is as flimsy as its conceit.

Unless you are a fan of Bhai who has yakeen in the entertainment value of Salman Khan’s face, it would be wise to skip this one. This Tubelight may leave you in a darker mood than Lights Out ever could.

Half Girlfriend is a film that makes you laugh and cry – you laugh at the folly of wasting your time on it, and cry tears of exasperation. If you want to watch people playing basketball and falling in love, we recommend renting Kuch Kuch Hota Hai instead – at least that one has some nostalgia added in.