The film alternates between the murky blue, deep sea and the cringy, clanky, claustrophobic insides of a submarine without any respite. This makes the film stand out from the usual Hindi films and helps it stay true to what it wants to be – an uncomfortable, edgy watch. If only, the consistency in tone had stuck through the other departments of the film – especially the writing.

To begin with OK Jaanu has very little to hold your interest. What with a name that seems to be an excuse for the couple to call each other by the purportedly cute nickname, “Jaanu”? As the movie moves along, you realise the filmmakers aren’t really interested in getting you interested. They are just smitten by their own coolness of having brought up “live-in” relationships to Indian cinema. eyeroll

So, if you get peeved off by that kind of love-doveyness, this one isn’t for you. If you find it cute…naah, even then it’s not for you.

Shivaay comes across as a film that wants to be more than a regular action film. It doesn’t quite achieve anything there. On the other hand, it loses out on being an out and out crowd-pleasing action film too.

The visualization takes care of calling undue attention to itself. And the music. Sure, the movie would have been an absolute dud if it were not for the music. And even so, the songs felt out of place every single time, including the title song. However, I can listen to the songs on loop all day, for a few days.

But, what good is a service to the eyes and ears without any attempt to engage the mind or the heart? This story-telling needed a better story.

I was engaged more than I expected to be. I had inadvertently tight muscles till the culprit was obvious. But then again, I scare easily. If you want to be spooked but not too seriously, you could just skim through this one when there’s nothing else on TV.

The problem is that all the elements exist – romantic angle, the betrayal, the hardship, the setbacks – but they all seem rather perfunctory. None of them get your attention, let alone make it pique. Of course, it is all predictable – that is a given for any underdog story anyway, isn’t it?

There is only so much an ordinary story can stand on its actor’s shoulders. Even if they are as broad as that of Nawazuddin Siddiqui.

The unwieldy narration makes Baar Baar Dekho a tiring watch. The romance doesn’t coo enough. The comedy is almost non-existent. The time travel bit makes it look like it is an attakh on nerds rather than the concept of passion for work. Let alone the question of why we are attacking the passion in the first place.

Kabali was always going to be 100% about Rajinikanth’s super stardom. It was going to be about his action, his style, his persona. The character Kabali would be designed to suit that purpose. Unfortunately, it doesn’t blend well at all with this attempt at “gang war with a heart”.

Sultan doesn’t get boring. The music is engaging, the visuals are crisp and fight sequences from the second half arrest your attention while they last. They take the edge off the flat plot, yet not a whole lot.

With little in the story beyond the basic premise, Tere Bin Laden Dead or Alive ends up just killing its potential to be lively. See, I am bored enough to do bad puns too. Better stop here.