Everything about the film is half-assed, from the writing to the direction to the acting by Josh Brolin.

The whole thing really feels like an Asylum remake of Oldboy with an aftertaste of the live octopus that Oh Dae Su swallows in the original.

The only two good bits you could find in the movie are the catchy soundtrack and the obviously talented, athletic dancers with insane gymnast skills.

This is lazy writing for a Hollywood movie with four legendary actors and they deserve better than this, as do the audience.

None of the jokes are funny as such and none of the sentimental moments are moving in any way. Theoretically it should be very easy to be able to relate with these characters and sympathise with them, but when the likes of De Niro, Douglas, Freeman and Kline fail to render any emotion within you it’s time to leave the hall and watch their earlier films on DVD.

The film also zips past its runtime in trying to keep things fresh but it fails to escape its clichés. At times it tries to drill in a social message and it fails miserably there as well. The only place where the film actually succeeds is making you wish it ends sooner. That’s sad, considering the talent involved.

‘Riddick’ works when it isn’t trying to be like the first film or isn’t dabbling in misogyny. The action is fun, and the raw gritty hard science fiction aspect of it is a nice change from flimsy fare like ‘Oblivion’

This is not comedy, this is lazy filmmaking. Sure, there are some people in the world who laugh just because someone mentions the human body’s nether regions but there are significantly more people who prefer a well-written quality comedy over tedious skits.

Sadly ‘Sea of Monsters’ is also a really terrible copy of ‘Harry Potter’, and with worse looking visual effects than the first film.

The story is formulaic to begin with but the lack of creativity in this film is staggering.

The serial killer thriller ‘The Frozen Ground’ is so clunky a guy who has seen less than five movies in his life could come up with a better script. It is so clichéd and derivative that directly ripping off some other thrillers would still make for a comparatively fresher film.

There’s nothing really more to say about the film, apart from its sheer ineptness oozing though every agonizing second of its excruciatingly long two plus hour runtime. Pointing out each of its flaws would mean typing out a 1000 page document in bold Goudy Stout and thanking Jobs for paying attention to calligraphy and being adamant about including fonts in the word processor.