There’s a gigantic Tsunami like wave as well, that packs enough tension to keep your popcorn intake flowing. Really, with The Rock and falling architecture that’s good enough excuse to waste some time at the movies, but ultimately that’s what the movie is, a waste of time, and a tiresome one at that.

The biggest letdown of the movie is that it isn’t scary at all – it makes you wonder what the filmmakers were aiming for. Neither is the drama powerful enough to keep you interested, nor are there any cheap thrills for fun. ‘Maggie’ ultimately is stuck somewhere in between the two ends, and is a fairly big disappointment, especially for fans of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

The only differentiating factor in the remake is that it veers away from the original in the third act, but by that time the film has already betrayed its audiences. There’s no escaping that you’re watching something you’ve seen a dozen times before. If only there was a dimension of ghosts who terrorize filmmakers who rely on clichés to entertain his audiences.

The lack of good jokes are attempted to be padded on by very loud noises, both from the stars and the ensuing action they get embroiled in, and it becomes more irritating than fun. It’s a train wreck from start to end, and it’s not the least bit enjoyable.

The stunningly clichéd script is brought to life by debutant Justin Reardon’s flashy direction in which we are ‘swept into’ Me’s life with quirky camerawork. The film cuts to different time zones, and even different countries, and Me even becomes Oriental for a while – it’s all showy work but it seems more like a director’s advertising showreel rather than a completely piece of cinema. With a better script, and a better production that guarantees him a solid release, Reardon can surely make a good movie, this one ultimately is a very boring and forgettable one.

To its credit, Jai Ho Democracy doesn’t have the grating melodrama of similarly themed films like Kya Dilli Kya Lahore and the only thing that changes in the narrative is the outlandishness of the plot and characters. It’s a pity that the film opted to choose over-the-top buffoonery over well-conceived satire. Its a missed opportunity.

As you have probably guessed, ‘The Water Diviner’ is an exercise in sentimentality, mostly to a fault. This reflects, no doubt, on Crowe’s past choices like ‘A Beautiful Mind’ and ‘Cinderella Man’. Except, those films had the measured hands of experienced filmmakers, and Crowe’s first attempt at direction mostly generates fake mawkishness rather than genuine emotion.

There’s nothing as such in the film that’s commendable, save for Penn’s physique at his age. But his character seems like he belongs in an ‘Expendables’ movie rather than the super serious drama in this movie.

The film could have been entertaining had the filmmakers not treated the subject matter with such seriousness and just embraced the ludicrousness of the whole thing. It’s what the Jason Statham ‘Crank’ movies did and they’re far more interesting than Neeson’s recent output, including this one.

It’s kind of fascinating to watch really, because you get to witness the birth of a new kind of cinema, the Chinese War Epic that will eventually catch up with Hollywood’s superhero films in the near future.