…a gorgeous-looking drama let down by a threadbare script, amateurish acting, and unbearably laboured storytelling.

Pink will likely be dubbed an ‘important’ movie, because it is. Its underlying themes of slut-shaming, consent, and societal double standards are impactful enough, despite the consistent lack of subtlety, and are rarely discussed with such openness in Hindi cinema. However, none of this excuses the fact that the end product is a middling, slapdash drama that goes out of its way to dumb itself down and manipulate the audience.

Anyway, what is made clear by then is that we’re in for a 2 hour 20-odd minute ride that is not above resorting to contrivances, shaky logic or outrageous coincidences to further its story. A drama about corrupt policemen, blackmailers, and one incredibly plucky girl, Akira spends its first half being somewhat watchable — thanks mostly to an enjoyable performance by Anurag Kashyap (more on this later) — and its second becoming progressively more unbearable.

No amount of well-intentioned subtext about taking care of our environment — as though no one in India has ever watched an episode of Captain Planet — can save this atrociously directed film.

In the hands of a more capable writer and director, this could’ve been a great role. Alas, Rustom only ends up being yet another forgettable venture for the star.

This is a story so fantastical that it’s hard to believe it really happened, which makes it an excellent subject for a feature film. Padhi, to some extent, succeeds in crafting an engaging narrative, albeit with the most predictable of devices.

Dishoom feels like a missed opportunity. All that budget, all these resources (read: stars), and the best Dhawan (whose previous directorial credit was the insufferable Desi Boyz) could make was a mildly amusing, templatised movie that couldn’t go two hours without succumbing to mediocrity? What a waste.

Zafar’s film is likely to have mass appeal and even win appreciation. But the yardstick being used is Salman’s filmography itself, and I reject the notion that the star is his own genre because it’s a convenient excuse to make mediocre films that will be over-praised merely if one gets a few of the basics right.

Kashyap’s vision is almost devoid of humanism; he wants us not only to examine the muck, but literally drown in it (as Ramanna literally does at one point). The problem is that there’s no way to do that without feeling utterly disgusted by yourself.

Rough patches notwithstanding, Udta Punjab is an undeniably exhilarating watch, a trip truly worth taking (downer included). With his third film, Chaubey has fine-tuned his unique directorial voice and pushed the boundaries of commercial cinema. Here’s hoping censorship, or anything else, never even attempts to get in his way again.