“The Meg” is best when it acknowledges its derivativeness, just one more silly shark movie in an ocean full of them. Its finest moment is when Statham, having willingly jumped into the water near the Megalodon, channels Dory and murmurs to himself: “Just keep swimming.”

Don’t go expecting The Meg to be the catch of the week and you won’t be too disappointed.

Ironically, this film is based on a successful book series and was made in the hopes of starting a franchise. I can’t recall any other franchise starter so dead on arrival that its own stars bash it in the media. You’re better off being eaten by an actual shark than subjecting yourself to this cinematic guano.