Mid-way through One by Two, an exasperated ex-girlfriend screams at the still-besotted boyfriend whom she recently dumped: You are so boring. Aur toh aur tumhara naam bhi boring hai. I felt her pain. Boredom weighed me down too as I watched this film.

In all honesty, I’m confused about how to evaluate Jai Ho. Because it’s not a film. It’s a cartoon. So, to point out that the story is laughably ridiculous or that the characterisation has no depth seems churlish. After all, you can’t go to see a cartoon and then complain about its disconnect with reality.

I had only one question after watching Carrie – what was the point? This Carrie isn’t worth spending time with but I do recommend that you find the De Palma film.

Its stuffed with banal but infectious songs that lodge themselves in your head like Yo! Yo! Honey Singh’s aaj blue hai pani pani. But everything else in this film is a train-wreck.

This could have been a fun romp but in the hands of director Gurmmeet Singh, it’s an excruciating exercise with vapid characters, bewildering plot twists and dismal acting – even Dimple Kapadia has only one note – she cribs, screeches and hams.

What the Fish is basically cinema as root canal. I suffered it so that you don’t have to.

I’m not sure why Spike Lee’s Oldboy exists. The original film, made by South Korean director Park Chan-wook in 2003, is a cult classic that won the Grand Prix in Cannes.

…recommending that you enjoy the original Oldboy. The new one is too dated.

Why do you need to see The Hunger Games: Catching Fire? Two words – Jennifer Lawrence.

I think how much you enjoy the second installment in the best-selling trilogy by Suzanne Collins, depends on how invested you get in this dystopian world, in which the few haves keep the many have nots hungry but entertained by a gladiator style reality show in which contestants kill each other.

Bullett Raja has flashes of fire but mostly it seems to be hobbled by a misguided sense of machismo. Everyone struts — including Vidyut Jamwal who makes an appearance as a dynamic cop — but no one goes anywhere. Which is a shame because these UP cowboys could have been fun.

…is fun as long as it sticks to the formula.
The best thing about Gori Tere Pyaar Mein! is Imran who maintains an easy charm, even when he’s adjusting to gobar and garibi.

Singh Saab The Great is a singularly soul-sucking experience. It doesn’t even work as unintentional comedy.