Capitalising on the iconic Sikh characters that caustic columnist and writer Khushwant Singh celebrated in his joke books, this is a cinematic blot that debunks that famous detergent slogan ‘daag ache hain’.

If you’d like a crash course in Haryanvi, this one covers the elementary level in just two hours and 25 minutes. But as a movie, it doesn’t justify the cost of a multiplex ticket. Give it a few months, a world TV premiere is on the cards.

Given the film’s single-minded obsession with crime and given the setting, it could’ve well been titled Madgaon Vice. But since the lead here is also the producer, we’ll let this pass.

If you’re keen on exploring parts of South Africa, off the B’wood map, this one’s for you. But that’s just one reason.

A novel theory suggested in the film is that faces of ageing seniors bear tells of decisions taken earlier in life. A frowning glory equals to having compromised with one’s wishes. A delightful smile means the person has followed his/her heart. The moral? Don’t give up on your dreams or be sour-faced for life.

This one is worthy of a single watch, but only for Akhtar, who is relentless and determined in his efforts to make this film work.

SRK’s money dialogue, “Aaj ke baad apna chehra mat dikhana, jaan le longa,” seems like a threat for audiences willing to attempt a second watch.

There are films you love and those you hate. This one falls in the third, the ones you’d love to hate.

Tamasha would’ve been a dream on paper but a lot is lost in execution. Ranbir and Deepika’s offscreen chemistry may be history but a romcom set in a scenic geography is usually a recipe for success. Whether this will be enough to influence the film’s economics, we’ll have to wait and watch.

The film may be called X: Past is Present, but it surely promises a headache in the immediate future.