When the setting itself is so unnatural, it is indeed a task to make the troubles seem organic. Ki and Ka have their fights, but the situations seem forced into the narrative. The tone goes from playful to preachy and that ride is choppy. So the concept, a crackling one to begin with, soon crumbles like a house of cards.

What shines through the 130 minutes is Anay Goswami’s painterly cinematography and Amit Trivedi’s velvety soundtrack. Fitoor doesn’t lack pace, it lacks the finesse and the depth. And we are left with not much to do except marvel at the white beauty of Kashmir, while the real Pip, Estella and Miss Havisham remain buried under that thick blanket of snow, perhaps occasionally stirring in their graves.

A little more finesse could have helped Chalk n Duster emerge a topper in the genre. With a subject like this, telling the story well was as important as telling it at all. Unfortunately, for now it better hide its report card.

A story that uses chess quite literally as a game and as a metaphor, we’d have loved to see it check-mate us. We’d have loved to lose to the storyteller and have all our guesses proved wrong by the time the end credits rolled. But sadly, this game leaves a lot to be desired.  

A melodramatic climax aside, the film is undoubtedly a quality product, Bhansali always ensures that. But what makes it fall just short of excellence is the lack of the journey within. We never get inside the characters, especially Bajirao’s, a man who is caught in the fierce dilemma between the heart and the state. We only see the events unfold on screen one after another. It is Bhansali tipping his jewel-encrusted hat off to an epic love story in Maratha folklore. But a glimpse of the mind would have made the picture complete.

Without getting into the obvious and tempting misogynist debate, seen just as a film, and not a statement, PKP2 gives us an entertaining and engaging two hours. Heartbroken men or men in general can indulge in some self-pity in this funny whine festival, while us villainous women sit back and belt out a few evil laughs, what else. Let’s reserve our cries of protest for more worthwhile occasions.

A film like Jazbaa needs a constant tension in the story and in its characters given the straitjacketed situation they are in. The pace needed to transcend inane car chase sequences and seep into the restlessness of the characters. Gupta had a good story to work with and he lifts up the second half by several notches. But sadly, he gets too caught up in pandering to his Korean cinema fetishes to polish the story. He lands on a punch line every now and then, uses one slide of text in the end to make the film seem like one that is fighting the cause of rape, thereby completely stripping it of any character. He told us how to hold a coffee mug. If only he could hold on to a script as tight.

There are few fleeting moments towards the end when it seems the scales of sympathy might be tipping in favour of the (now behind bars) parents, and that could be the only weak link in the film, after all the ruthless objectivity displayed thus far. But that doesn’t, even for a second, take away from the fact that the makers have given us a film that is as sharp as its title. Whether or not you have followed the real case, this reel retelling is definitely worth your while.

The film dares to throw some unsettling questions, one of them being, are Pakistani locals supportive of the militant outfits in their country? It even shows the ISI as hand in glove with the LeT. Disturbing scenarios yes, but they explain why the film has been banned in Pakistan. Phantom is no more just 147 minutes of big screen time. The reel and the real Phantom episodes have packed in an almost filmi irony bawling out the difference between the story that should have been and the story that is.

The film is definitely a worth a watch as this is a story that deserves to be heard. But allow us to tell you that while some of you might be carrying a leaked version of the film in your phones, the tale of the mountain man is not meant for touchscreen entertainment.