Violence is comical, as kinky porn would be to an average adult. Gore is graphic, but pretty much for the shocking sake of it.

Insecure shock jocks usually kill the fun with sound and special effect alone – comedy, being the instant flip side of spook. You don’t laugh here, never. You just wish to know what’s going on, or what happens next.

The realism gently, warmly sucks you in. You sit back, sometimes reminisce, mostly observe. The take-home for the viewer is entirely experiential. As with all good experimental films.

It’s not a bad effort — unfortunately, it remains just that.

Haunted evidently wants to be the Wanted (Salman Khan small-town super hit) for the same crowd. You just hope they aren’t similarly disappointed by technical glitches.

If this movie were true, yes. But it’s not. So, not to worry, “babes” (yup, I hate that word too). “Chill!” Just tag along with these bozos, watch them enter a gay bar, without any context, as tranny strippers go, “Tera jism jism. Tera badan badan. Yeh toh hai bus, Mutton mutton.” Luv it. Huh!

Two strangers on such a journey can make for one too many films: from Mr And Mrs Iyer, on the riots, to Jab We Met, a romance. This one falls into neither. It’s just banal, belaboured, contrived concoction that’s just not funny; certainly not fun.

Shor, or constant noise, is clearly the irrepressible energy of the Mumbai air. Was Suketu Mehta’s stupendous Maximum City a film, it’d come close to this. No prizes for guessing, pirate Tilak is really fond of Paulo Coelho’s Alchemist!

It just about makes for an enticing thriller here. There’s probably an even better film when compressed. But if you stay ‘susegaad’, relaxed, laidback, it’s unlikely that you’ll regret the promise of entertainment this picture meets in major portions. That, as you’d know, is saying a lot.

Sometimes, you wish filmmakers wrote their own reviews to enlighten us on exactly what they’ve made.