I recommend this for viewers who genuinely believe in leave-your-brains-at-home fare. But it turns out that I’m born with a brain, and what it does during a movie is beyond my control, unless I physically remove it. This can only happen if I’m a cartoon character, or part of the absurd world of Entertainment (the business).

Kick is harebrained, patronizing and regressive at most points, and makes the age-old error of being a live-action Salman-starrer. Purely as a kiddie flick though, this is passable—if not plausible—entertainment for children that have never been exposed to movies.

Unfortunately, Amit Sahni is not a character I’d ever want to see succeed much like that customary rich friend that thrives on self-created drama. And structured around his contrived situation is a film like him–it strains hard to find conflict even when there is none, and ends up as more like an Ashton Kutcher romedy than a Julia Roberts romcom.

Filmmakers that venture into this genre must note that it is about what one doesn’t see on screen the anticipation of fear rather than fear itself-that leads to effective results. For now, the fear of being too original is fast turning into an epidemic. And if I can go an entire Pizza review without using terms like “delicious”, “thin crust” or “menu”, maybe a day will come when writers stop using nurseryrhyme crooning zombie children and ringing phones as permanent items on the horror menu.

Director Vishal Pandya could have gone all out and crafted a flamboyant saga of love, sex and dhoka. Instead, he settles for a gaudy half-tracker of a film-the kind that has a car harmlessly rolling bobbing down a slope instead of leaping from a cliff in flames.

Deeksha Seth shows some spark, but it requires a better film than this to judge her. Both she and Armaan are undone by some poor writing and direction, and that is indeed unfortunate. While all’s well that end’s well for their characters, we would be hard pressed to say the same for the film itself.

There is no doubting that Suri’s vision is clear in its own space-evident from the usual heady cocktail of lilting tunes and brooding antagonists – but his storytelling leaves much to be desired. Ek Villain is a prime example, and even as a standalone effort (as it will be, for most viewers), it is perhaps his weakest.

Humshakals is a defiant film made by a man who is fast becoming a rebel without a cause. His audacity is almost frightening, but I was reassured by the pin-drop silence in the hall-one that’d accompany the screening of a gutwrenching war drama. This is, in many ways, not too different.

The story is of little consequence because the makers get the basics and technicalities all wrong. They are at odds with the concept of background music, instead relying on Tom-and-Jerry sound effects to single out nonexistent punchlines. In spirit of the ongoing World Cup, if Chal Bhaag were a football team, it would be relegated to tier 3 of qualifying on the first day of the season.

The title is a popular Indian children’s nursery rhyme, and perhaps kids under the age of ten would have been the perfect target audience to frighten. Unfortunately, this film is rated A (Adults only), and therefore, falls way short of remotely acceptable levels of spooky entertainment.