I tip my hat to director Jake Kasdan for filming such a plot point. It’s mindboggling and, in fact, quite fascinating to just sit through and observe the thunderstorm of stupidity unfolding on screen.

Hrithik, Katrina show how explosively dumb Bollywood can be…

Even if you have figured out the mystery, nothing will prepare you for the way the solution to the mystery presents itself. It’s a brutal deconstruction of imperfect marriages, and the nature for longing, togetherness and eventual hatred in the contemporary world. Surprisingly, the film plays out like a black comedy, even in the face of stunning violence, misogyny and misandry.

The film is neither smart enough to be interesting, nor dumb enough to be harmless. It’s a great big ball of nothing.

The only fun bits in the film are when it tricks you that there is something sinister at the end of a dark scene, but sadly it’s just a series of false promises all the way.

The original films aren’t very good on a filmmaking level, but whatever was on screen had never been done before then. Everything about this film reeks of “been there done that”. If Bay’s master plan is to nurture today’s teens on this sort of mediocre codswallop, we need to hijack satellite channels and telecast the video of Vanilla Ice’s ‘Ninja Rap’ on every screen and save this generation of kids.

Raja Natwarlal fails because its basic premise is a mess. It presents the challenge of conning a man who is supposed to be one of the world’s smartest men, except he behaves like one of the dumbest creatures to have walked this planet. Make that the second dumbest; the number one position is occupied by the audience that fell for Raja Natwarlal and bought tickets.

The action itself is cumbersome and unimaginative, and none of the one-liners are punchy enough to make you laugh. Those were the two elements that made these old timers famous, and the film fails to deliver on both counts – a fatal mistake.

Hitting the sweet spot with documentaries: ‘Katiyabaaz’ has some truly incredible footage and moments…

Singham Returns is either a solid injection of boredom or a pain as severe as getting your pecker stuck in the zip and screaming Ata maajhi atakli. Choose wisely.