Miss Lovely breaks a lot of Bollywood rules. You can bristle at its indulgences but, I’ll still root for a movie that fiddles with the rules over an easy commercial one. Especially if it has a climax that features blood and a Nazia Hassan song.

Whether or not you relate to it, you need to watch it on the big screen to appreciate its tragic beauty.

Getting into plot details is futile because the ‘story’ is just a patchwork of ideas from the loony bin of Hollywood just to get De Niro and Stallone in the same frame together. Everything the film attempts is obscenely hollow and half assed. The film is quite cringe-inducing in the ‘dramatic’ moments because you know the filmmaker is laughing as the camera rolls.

…smarter, funnier, richer and way more gorgeous than its predecessor. If you’re a fan of really, really great writing, masterful direction, clever lines, terrific actors, Urdu literature and shayari, Dedh Ishqiya delivers by the truckloads.

There’s a severely satisfying degree of subtext beneath the front layers of Dedh Ishqiya, and homages are only a part of the film’s intelligent satirical touches. But don’t let metaphors and subtext get you down, Dedh Ishqiya is first and foremost a very entertaining movie. Plus it’s got a generous dose of cinematic ‘moments’, and a terrific special effect – romance between Naseer and Madhuri Dixit.

There are a couple of sequences where the film becomes completely over the top in Mitty’s daydream cutaways, if only the rest of the film were as engaging and intelligent as those two scenes.

Every scene is long, indulgent and excessive but so energetic, euphoric and shocking you can’t take your eyes off it. It’s definitely not something you should see with your parents. But it’s definitely something you need to see to know that entitled assholes like Belfort get away with minor jail time while others are branded criminals and rot in prison for far lesser offenses.

It’s a sad, stark display of everything that can go wrong while making a movie, and budding filmmakers can probably use the behind the scenes stories to know what not to do while making a film.

…is Dhoom to the power of 3. It’s 27 times as ridonkulous as Dhoom in every department. The longer it runs the more preposterous it gets, and you can’t help but admire it for what it is.

The good news – The Desolation of Smaug is much better and more exciting than the first Hobbit film. The bad news – it still is a lackluster and hollow movie compared to the original Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Everything about the film is half-assed, from the writing to the direction to the acting by Josh Brolin.

The whole thing really feels like an Asylum remake of Oldboy with an aftertaste of the live octopus that Oh Dae Su swallows in the original.