The premise is a familiar one: a small-time crook, Shiva (Akshay Kumar), feels obliged to step into the shoes of his doppelganger, a lookalike cop named Vikram Rathore, when the fearless officer dies trying to rescue a village from its despotic gang-lord.

You take ‘Rowdy’ and look for a word that sounds good with it. What about ‘Rathore’? All right. You take the masala films made in the 70s and 80s. Borrow liberally. Patch together a plot, or whatever passes for it. Rope in a star looking for a solo hit. And you get, all together now, ‘Rowdy Rathore’.

Nothing justifies a 139-minute length, but Akshay Kumar carries both moustache and cop uniform better than his peers — yes, I include Salman Khan in that comparison, the one whose clothes refuse to stay on — and while both Khan and Ajay Devgn can competently scowl and maim (and make Lady Gaga claws, if need be), Kumar’s way better at playing the fool.

The film is one more in the line of movies — many of which are remakes from the south — that value masala above all else. But Dabangg and even Wanted, the latter of which was also directed by Prabhu Deva, were far more cohesive and compelling. Rowdy Rathore is pure noise. Only the brave should venture in.

Riddled with an array of loud, lame and specious contrivances, Rowdy Rathore plays out pretty much like a comic-book fantasy rendered in the form of a live-action film. Go for it if you must, but don’t expect the earth from it.

What could have been a whistle-blowing fun ride ends up being a half-baked dish. If you are a Prabhu Deva fan, you will be disappointed. If you are an Akshay fan, you might just end up cheering the loudest for him. Watch this if you are in a mood for some mindless, time pass entertainment this weekend.