I’m going with zero out of five, for the new ‘Zanjeer’. Without belittling their year-long battle with the film’s makers to be compensated for remaking their script, one has to wonder if screenwriters Salim Khan and Javed Akhtar might consider donating some part of their settlement towards admitting these guys in film school.

The filmmakers have been carefully calling it a “tribute”, and they have added a couple of elements which weren’t in the older film, but to me it was a neither here-nor-there thing: it’s neither faithful remake nor campy, knowing tribute. It’s just a poor copy. So why?

Zanjeer is an unwarranted, atrocious remake.

This is one remake that stands tall and lithe. It is manned by a manful supply of action and yet manages to keep the machismo understated. Breakneck-paced, adrenaline-pumping, pulse-pounding — Lakhia’s deconstructed version of the Prakash Mehra film is a full-on pacy paisa-vasool entertainer with brio and balls.

Ram Charan, as the brooding policeman, excels in action. His dark eyes with long lashes adeptly convey anger. Sanjay Dutt is competent and lovable.

Zanjeer doesn’t hold a candle to the original, instead it feels like a modern day adaptation of a yet another cop drama.

Zanjeer is a typical product of prevalent market tricks that ensure numbers. A sloppy mishmash of slackened writing, half baked execution and slumber incurring editing, the desperate attempts of packing a few extra scenes of head banging action doesn’t quite help. Lacking the spirit and marvel of Zanjeer that I went in looking, the reason why I both survived and detested the film, was the same.

ZANJEER is a triumph for Ram Charan, who gets abundant opportunity to exhibit his talent and scores exceedingly well. However, the film comes across as a regular masala fare that caters to the single screen spectator mainly and also for enthusiasts of typical Bollywood entertainers. As for the comparisons with the original ZANJEER, I suggest try not to get there!

I can understand Fermat’s last theorem but why on earth was this film remade, remains a mystery. But then when remakes of films like Agneepath can cross Rs.100 crores, I guess the temptation for producers is too hard to resist, creativity be damned.

Considering comparisons with the original are inevitable, the latest version will only expose Bollywood’s inability to fine-tune or even, convincingly rehash a story that had once thrilled the audience.

Zanjeer is a dull show which also looks dated. Except for action, that too, mainly for the mass audience, there is not much for the viewers. As such, the film’s run at the box-office will not be exciting. The Telugu version of the film has also been released simultaneously and its fate at the ticket windows may be better due to the stardom of Telugu films’ star, Ram Charan.

It’s hard though when you’re constantly made aware that these loose, sometimes fully disjointed pieces of a zanjeer (series of events) – with several unexplained and missing scenes — is the reinterpretation of the 1973 classic

The film is a failed attempt at remake. Watch it for the love of item songs and action-drama.

In this distressing time of remakes and hand-me-down inspirations, let’s remember Herman Melville, “It is better to fail at originality than to succeed in imitation.” Zanjeer manages neither.