Doesn’t help either that the film clocks in at a butt-numbing 155 minutes. I got up to leave at three different points that I imagined were the climax, only to discover that there was still more to come. Never a good sign when you’re looking at your watch instead of the screen.

Shah Rukh Khan, Kajol film on the whole, is a plotless drag : the slaphappy antics you see on screen are a random jumble of light, camera, action, done in the broadest sense.

Sure, there is a sparkle here and a gleam there of what could have been — and Kajol looks beguilingly beautiful, better here than ever — but Dilwale is an absolute dud.

We expect insignificant froth from the director, but this particular can of Rohit Shetty has been lying open too long. The contents are not merely un-fizzy but, unforgivably, flat.

Dilwale hugely banks upon Khan’s stardom and he tries his best to reciprocate. The rest of Dilwale has a very little heart.

The thing about Dilwale is that it over promises and under delivers. In a bid to chase the Bollywood success formula of a masala flick, which Rohit Shetty undisputedly has cracked over the years, this film tried to pack too many punches in one. As a result, none are strong enough.

Watch it for Kajol and, to a lesser extent, for SRK. The rest of the actors on this vehicle, barring Varun Sharma on an occasion or two, are mere passengers.

One can’t help but think is Dilwale really worth the ticket and popcorn and fizz. The verdict: It isn’t.

Dilwale is not an enjoyable ride all the way. The film has its moments and mainly it is the predictability and cliches that kill it. One of the best scenes between Kajol and Shah Rukh comes right at the end but its too late to save the film then.

Coming to Shahrukh, it’s another been-there-done-that. The magic has faded though Khan regains some of the romantic sparks towards the end with his intense lines and looks. Khan’s beard, take a bow. You have more oomph than Rohit Shetty’s fleet of imported cars.

…this is good popcorn time-pass for SRK fans.

The only thing good about the film are the refurbished car-chairs that are strewn around Raj’s garage. So, you could check that out if you are really keen. But, as long as you trust my word, I would say skip Dilwale, and go for Bajirao Mastani, instead.

In essence hence Diwale is basically about a group of people doing what they have been doing for years. You might enjoy it if you find hilarity in the familiar.

…is just another masala entertainer, which only expects you to enjoy and not think much. Giving it a shot wouldn’t harm anyone.

…the movie was everything I expected from it – yawn and cringe inducing. But hey, that’s how little it takes to go from “Switch channels if it’s on cable” to “Watch if you have nothing better to do”.

SRK’s money dialogue, “Aaj ke baad apna chehra mat dikhana, jaan le longa,” seems like a threat for audiences willing to attempt a second watch.

The film is replete with enforced comic moments that may tickle your funny bone at times but mostly makes it a struggle to watch.

Dilwale never lives up to the hype it had created around itself. For most part, it is an all-noise vanity project for stars who genuinely want to show us a good time but are held back by an impotent script helmed by a man whose competency lies is another genre.