The good part about Total Siyaapa was that its promos got your interest perked up in the film. Alas, that’s exactly where it ended! Unfortunately all the fun bits were packed in the promo itself. There is little fun you have while watching the film.

But Total Siyappa, an adaptation of the Spanish film Seres Queridos (2004), is a comedy which doesn’t want to say anything meaningful. It isn’t concerned about digging deep into what sparks the preconceived notions the citizens of the neighbouring countries hold against each other or exploring the relationship of the modern-day Veer and Zara given their different backgrounds. Even the romance isn’t well established.

I’m not sure if Indian writers will ever stop associating repressiveness with one particular culture, or if they will ever consider anyone but Kirron Kher as the trailblazing Baa of Bhatinda. Ali Zafar, the actor, must be aware that his lips barely move when he speaks, which make his dubbed lines sound like a playback song.

It has a lot of stereotyping on mannerisms of Punjabis, but if all that were funny, one could have even sat through it. The only saving grace is Kirron Kher, who packs a solid performance and holds the film.

You know the drill. If you’ve seen Meet the Parents. But Total Siyappa is actually a remake of Argentine film Seres Queridos, where a girl takes her boyfriend home to meet the parents, and chaos sets in when he accidentally drops frozen soup from the kitchen window. Suddenly towards the end, the makers remember the India-Pakistan subplot and give the lead pair a little to fight about.

The plot hits the peak in the first 30 odd minutes, after that it all goes downhill. The subplot of Asha’s sister and her husband is least bit engrossing. There are some funny lines and comic situations but the water runs dry quickly. Kirron Kher is the only silver lining in this otherwise average entertainer.

Like a cold, cloudy morning in London, this one leaves you with more gloom than glee.

Despite the giddy pace, it soon becomes clear that there’s not enough of a story here, merely a string of gags. The thin plot is stretched out until it collapses under the weight of its contrivances, squandering a good cast, particularly Kirron Kher as the shrill Mummyji. Such a shame that the film’s central conflict evaporates conveniently and unconvincingly in a hurried, all-too-neat finale. Funny, but in a pedestrian sort of way.

There is much humor to be mined from our fraught relations with our neighbor but Total Siyapaa is an opportunity lost.

The film turns into an unfunny comedy of errors. One misfortune after another befalls Aman who finds his day getting worse as he is humiliated and insulted by Asha’s family. There is no consistency in the plot either. One moment Aman feels guilty for accidentally killing his prospective father-in-law and moments later he is joyously dancing with his girlfriend’s sister.

A complete mess of an interesting premise, Total Siyapaa ends up being so unbearable that, at the press screening, several journalists made for the exit before the credits started rolling. It is with equal haste and enthusiasm that the cast and crew should leave this film behind as they move on to newer and better projects. The silver lining: film’s under two hours.

…is a lesson in knowing that merely seeking inspiration from international films isn’t enough one still has to work on the script to make it palatable. A complete waste of a good plot.

Total Siyapaa is audaciously maddening. Even the slight magic that the story might have had gets butchered in the screenplay. Leaving behind no feeling, neither comedy nor romance, I have not an inkling of an idea what were the makers trying to create here. It could have been something flattering if it were in the right hands. I am going with 1/5 for this misguided, shaky venture that might be the right recipe of boring you to death.

…appeals in bits and spurts. You expect a laugh-riot, but what comes across on screen is half-baked.

It’s the kind of film that expects you to find laughs in a man trying to thaw ice-cold soup with knives. It’s the kind of coy courtship where a NRI couple kiss the other’s lips by placing a hand in the middle. It’s the kind of reductive remake that could work best as a harmless half-hour sitcom. It’s the kind of experience that explains the need for phrases like ‘meh.’

Total Siyapaa is total madness. An audacious comedy that dares to poke fun at a border issue, the film is stylised and is attentively staged.

This could have been hilarious. But all it does is drag its feet through unfunny, stretched situations.

Total Siyapaa was intended as a comedy of errors, but there were too many subtexts and characters crowding the second half. While the film managed to tick all the offensive stereotype jokes, the long-winded second half scratches out their efforts. Watch this only if you are a total fan of Zafar, Gautam and the Khers.

With so much going against ‘Total Siyappa’, we suggest you skip the ordeal completely and revisit those snappy trailers instead, because that’s where the fun lies.