I didn’t hate it. If that’s enough encouragement, sure, go watch it. But you were going to anyway, right?

We know that a Salman film is created solely to display his ‘andaaz’ designed to send his fans into a swoon. What makes ‘Kick’ interesting, apart from some unfettered Salman moments, is Siddiqui in full flow.

…even if you’re willing to ignore the logic-free story and buy heavily into the cult of Bhai, Kick is bumpy, and far too convoluted to deliver the joyride of a Dabangg. What does work are the thrilling action sequences; Rajat Aroraa’s crackling dialogue; and, above all, Nawazuddin Siddiqui as the wicked Shiv Gajra.

If you belong to the minority, Sajid Nadiadwala offers a decent story, and backs it up with some brilliant performances. Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Saurabh Shukla, Mithun Chakravorty and Sanjay Mishra are actors no Bollywood fan would ever want to miss. Salman fan or not, this is a film Bollywood movie lovers will find worth the time and money.

Despite four screenplay writers’ and Salman Khan’s best efforts, Kick fails to impress…

Kick provides a kick only sporadically. For Salman Khan fans, that should be good enough.

For Salman Khan fans, it’s a great show but for others it’s going to be an average affair.

Kick is unimaginative and unoriginal…

The film is well shot by Ayananka Bose and it is obvious that big bucks have been spent in making it. Even though I am far from being a Salman Khan fan, I can see why he has such a fan following – he aims to please and does it well. Now, only if someone could cobble together a sensible story for him rather than just rehash South Indian films. At times, Nawazuddin Siddique is one up on Salman; in some of the scenes he is deliciously evil.

Welcome to bizarreland. This is where people do what they want and the audience is expected to digest it with open mouthed admiration. This is the kind of ‘masterpiece’ that would put Robinhood to reconsider his charitable intentions. Because as you know, Bhai rocks.

Yawn inducing fare that fails to deliver any kick. Has to be the biggest disappointment of the year! The amount of money you spend on the tickets of Kick should be directly proportional to the how much you hate yourself!

From all Salman Khan movies, you rarely remember any other actor, besides Salman himself, which is just as well, because that is what audiences pay for. This one also stars Nawazuddin Siddiqui as the villain who appears in all of four or five scenes. He pitches his performance as high as the rest of the movie. Yet, you can immediately tell, especially when he is opposite Salman, that if this country had great actors for mainstream stars, blockbuster films with scripts as deliberately insane as this one, would begin to seem infinitely more tolerable still.

…what you get is an archetypal Salman film with the regular cliches, and a few moments of, err, kick.

…all of Kick feels stilted as if its very aware that it is a Salman Khan film. The songs come in and out in appropriate commercial doses. The cinematography is better than what you would expect from a film of the Salman Khan genre, but that doesn’t give the film as a whole, too many bonus points.

Like all Eid releases featuring Khan, Kick too will probably notch-up record numbers due to its haphazard concoction of romance, comedy, action and drama, and the overwhelming domination of the 48-year-old actor, but the film is only marginally better than other awful Khan films in recent times – Jai Ho, Bodyguard, Dabangg 2. The setting seemed ripe for an entertaining no-brainer, but Kick will remain as forgettable as most money-spinners lately. What’s worst: The villain deserved a much better film.

Kick is harebrained, patronizing and regressive at most points, and makes the age-old error of being a live-action Salman-starrer. Purely as a kiddie flick though, this is passable—if not plausible—entertainment for children that have never been exposed to movies.