For some, the promise of two Sunny Leones for the price of one may be enough to invest in a ticket of Mastizaade. But believe me, there is such a thing as too much heaving bosom and jiggling backside. I found myself cringing more than laughing at the film’s idea of outrageous, adult humor.

Having suffered through two hours of non-stop crassness, I am sorry to tell you that there are barely two-and-a-half laughs in ‘Mastizaade’. The alleged ‘masti’ is so ‘sasti’, that you are left cringing rather than cracking up.

What people who make movies like Mastizaade need to realise is that the word Adult means more than a movie rating. Even the absolute daftest of sex comedies have room for something sharp and clever and cheeky. Because Austin Powers minus the groovy is just pervy, baby, pervy.

Mastizaade isn’t even a movie. For almost the entirety of its run time, it feels like getting screamed at by a pissed off plastic clown. It’s as pointless as a punctured condom. It’s as ghastly as a bad boob job. It’s like entering a lunatic pervert’s Internet search history tab and discovering only cake recipes. Let me repeat: Mastizaade isn’t a movie. It’s a bunch of sweaty sleazeballs exploiting Sunny Leone’s star power and straight up robbing your cash. Don’t let them.

Every 20 minutes, a song breaks. Sunny, who is on familiar territory, looks gorgeous as she parades in an assortment of bikinis. She has also mastered the Bollywood song-dance routine and gracefully sashays to Rom Rom Romantic and Hor Nach. Bollywood believes that if you have Sunny in a film, you do not need a script.

…another example of Bollywood’s belief that even if you sink to the depths of mediocrity, there is someone out there who will still come and watch your film.

A feast for Sunny Leone fans, Mastizaade is shocking and scandalous.

Mastizaade has no masti whatsoever. This is intolerable cruelty, a vicious attack on the senses.

…comes across as a ludicrous movie with an absurdly inept story and screenplay. After the initial hysteria subsides, the film will struggle at the box office due to its weak content.

This film is plain embarrassment for those who made it and those who decide to watch it.

There are silly jokes and even sillier depictions of them. It’s like all forwarded jokes have been shot separately for laughs; then Milap Zaveri sat in the studio placing them in sequences. He probably might have gotten slapped on the back for his genius by his ‘chelas’. This probably has to be the laziest film put together: No creativity, no originality, overall no class. Even crass can be depicted with a little bit of class. You don’t have to shove ‘beeps’ in front of the camera all the time and lay down those ‘beeps’ on the table where French fries can’t be located! Disgusting!

The film, touted as a sex comedy, is neither funny nor sexy. We are relentlessly served dollops of crude, unfunny innuendos instead. One flash of genuine humour comes in the form of the commercials that the friends make, but when you look at the whole picture, that seems like a stray stroke of luck than any kind of constructive creative thinking.

Mastizaade’s problem is its absolute lack of originality and boring repetitiveness.

Very poorly shot, standard, third-rate double-meaning fare is what you get then. And god knows we’ve seen so many such that it’s hard to keep track. I don’t know whether Mastizaade is related to Grand Masti, which was the same as Kya Kool Hai Hum 1, 2, or 3 that released only last week.

Overall, with blatant product placements which include boosting Pattaya tourism, poor humour and garish treatment, the film fails to leave an impress.

Mastizaade is not a film for everyone. The plot lacks logic and the jokes will make you cringe. Having said that, if you love slapstick humor and Sunny Leone, this film will surely entertain you.

Mastizaade is clearly a Sunny Leone film, and if you plan to watch it for her then it’s worth the price of admission.

Mastizaade doesn’t have a story worth detailing. It’s a bunch of loosely connected skits built around Aditya and Sunny’s attempts to get with, respectively, Laila Lele (Sunny Leone) and her sister, Lily (also Leone, wearing spectacles). The onslaught of failed gags is relentless; there’s no attempt to build anything like a narrative in between jokes about round and pointy objects.

Moans, groans, pokes and farts fill in whatever is left of the run time. In other words the infantilization of the viewers is complete. Only question left to ask after two hours: would you call this a film?

…watch ‘Mastizaade’ for Sunny Leone but don’t expect anything much with regards to the plot of the film.

Watch Mastizaade only if you have a taste for films based on adult themes that do have anything substantial to offer in terms of any other crucial aspects of entertainment. As for Sunny fans, there isn’t much to say anyways, is there?  

KKH3 was a bad movie and Mastizaade is intolerable, much worse than KKH3! Milap tries to kill us with his overboard offensive jokes, half of which are your usual whatsapp jokes! So basically the humour material has nothing new to offer as well.

The movie’s general disgust with the idea of gay sex proves that for all its outrageousness, Mastizaade is as tame as they come. The jokes are weak, while Zaveri’s taste for zany puns has soured. The filmmaker’s ability to find sexual innuendo in everyday situations and objects is truly staggering.

An utterly mind numbing and sense-titillating affair. Skip it.

This one makes last week’s “Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3” look not-so-intolerable, as it is the last word in how not to make a sex comedy. In fact, unless you are not impressionable, you could be put off by the word that precedes the word comedy above, so distasteful is the whole affair!