The unintentionally funny dialogues aside, it’s unlikely that you’ll be smiling through this misery.

I haven’t seen something as fuzzy and dreary as ‘Roy’ in a long time : just what is Ranbir Kapoor doing in a movie like this?

Vikramjit strains to create a moody, artistic angst. But it’s impossible to take any of it seriously. The film’s credits read: Ranbir Kapoor in a dynamic role. Even an actor as exciting as him doesn’t possess the dynamism to lift this train-wreck.

Its story is an absolute drag, and eventually ends up losing the plot much before the film ends. In fact the last twenty minutes or so in the movie are far better than the rest of the 147-minutes long film. It brings perspective to both the love story and the story of the thief. If only, Vikramjit had made the whole film in the same spirit as well.

Arjun Rampal is channelling his inner angsty hippie here. He gets the slumped demeanour right. The stubble and even the dandruff-hair work. But all’s lost in that exquisite but stony face. Is something the matter with Ranbir Kapoor? First hyper-stupidity in Besharam and now sleep-walking through this cuckoo? Should we worry about Bombay Velvet? Fernandez is, well, easy on the eye and charming. Now for some acting and diction lessons, please.

While the film is shot beautifully, it’s the story that falls flat mainly because it is packed with too much randomness in the name of art and intensity. There is an instance when Jacqueline comments on bad films, ”One should end the film if headed in the wrong direction.” If only the director had followed his own advice!

Roy is so tangled in its inflated, erratic ideas of a pseudo mystery around parallel lives and loves that it ceases to make sense even before it takes off. Mostly, though, it’s just slow torture.

Recommended only if you want to use the auditorium for a relaxing catnap. Roy will not wake you up.

‘Roy’ has its moments, but the story is like a blotch of painting on abstract art.

Roy is boring, exhausting and pretentious – save your money and time by staying away.

I’m told releasing a film is not easy. One has to have a good story, get the cast in place, and convince a producer to back it and then get a studio to release it. After all kinds of checkpoints it’s appalling that this film has made it to the theatres.

If you want to sleep through the film, then Roy is waiting for you but if you go by my suggestion.. then it’s a big NO.

For a film about inspiration, Roy fails to inspire any emotions other than frustration.

Roy is a twisted love story that has a thriller coating. It is a non-purpose film which gives nothing but just tells a story that is multi-layered to create intrigue. It is a confused plot which is enthused with style. In the film there is a dialogue which says “Ye film kaise ban gayi” and I quite agreed with that!

The film could do better if the script had been focussed on. Taking a cue from Bollywood itself, lengthy films without a great script don’t work in today’s age.

A deathly boring film like Roy is only made once a while, why was it made in the first place still remains a mystery. Towards the end Arjun Rampal who plays a director says “Pata nahin yeh film kaisa ban gayi” echoing the sentiments of the audience watching this travesty of a film.

Watch it if you want to, but Roy was just too pretentious for my choice.

Here’s what they get, entirely out of context: Long pauses. Pretentious bollocks for dialogue between three decent Bollywood tracks. The massive mansion. Horses in slo-mo. Vast ocean under a semi-lit sky. Ranbir on a bike, or in a yacht, staring into the sea. Close up of the flying bird. Jacqueline in yoga pose, now doing the ballet. And the camera purposefully lingering on Arjun Rampal, forever and ever, while everybody is all so grim and serious… Oh man, this is fart-house cinema at its farcical best.

`Roy` does have quintessential element of a Bollywood story – betrayal, love, conspiracy, emotion – but it fails to come out.

So, for the weekend, go for `Roy` on Valentine’s Day if you want to be left bored and wondering about what you just watched.

If you have no plans this Valentine’s weekend, Roy might be a good idea. But then again, there are better things to do… If you know what I mean.

If you have an appetite for a slow-paced love story with philosophy, you’re probably going to like it but if, like me, you go in for some action to unfold, you’ll be extremely disappointed.

Even if you give the film a point or two extra for attempting something different, you can’t escape the fact that it is on the borderline of making very little sense. Different ain’t good enough.

Watch this if your are in the mood to see a pair of good-looking men act like boys.

In a nut shell, Vikramjit Singh’s Roy starring Arjun Rampal, Ranbir Kapoor and Jacqueline Fernandez can be a decent watch, for the love quotient and for those who like an interesting script but don’t expect much thrill.

Watch it for the debutant director’s attempt at telling a different story with gorgeous actors that make enough eye candies!